"My Immortal"



Oh philosophy, you seem to find me everywhere I turn! You constantly catch my attention in everything I do, see, and listen to, especially the concepts of St. Augustine established in his confessions. I wonder if painters, songwriters, actors, etc. purposely relay philosophical messages in their forms of art.

To begin, St. Augustine believes that someone bigger than ourselves can grant us an eternal life. This eternal life, in a sense, leads to immortality. God is the eternal life therefore immortal. As I began to understand this concept of immortality and the eternal life the way St. Augustine explains it, a certain song kept crossing my mind. This song is titled “My Immortal” by Evanescence. “My Immortal” could be interpreted in many ways, but I believe that this song better exemplifies Augustine’s thoughts and concepts of the eternal life, sin, and intrapersonal struggles with more of a focus on the second verse. The second verse of this song seems to be an inner struggle to fight the temptations of sin and not stray away from the path of God.

Second Verse: “You used to captivate me, by your resonating light. Now I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dream. Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me.”

In the first sentence, I believe that sin is what she is referring to by being captivated in its resonating light. In other words, sin has beckoned her with a pleasurable temptation. Then in the second sentence, the pleasure from the sin has worn away, so now she has to face the punishment of that sin that has now burden her. In this statement, St. Augustine would sympathize with her by saying, “… by the burdens of this world [sin] I was sweetly weighed down (pg. 189)” Furthermore, the next two sentences in this verse is an intrapersonal struggle between her two wills, flesh and spirit. She realizes that she no longer wants to be chained to this world by the consequences of her sins, yet she does not want to be freed from these earthly temptations just yet. St. Augustine can relate to this as well because he stated, “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet! For I feared that you would hear me quickly, and that quickly you would heal me of that disease of lust [addiction to sin], which I wished to have satisfied rather than extinguished (pg. 194).” Back to the lyrics, the haunting face stands for “Good” and the pleasant dream stands for the pleasurable sin. To better understand this,  the pleasant dream is the temptation of sin that she is yearning for and feels comfortable in its presence, and the haunting face is the “Good” reminding her to not fall into the temporary pleasure of sin. In doing this, God would grant her the chance at an eternal life only if she does not fail in seeking him. Then, the last sentence in the second verse conveys and impression that she has or is really close to losing her battle of “Good.”  The voice suggests that it is sin that has chased away all of the sanity [peace of mind] she has gained from following the path of prosperity. In other words, sin has once again tempted her with temporary pleasure. St. Augustine can also sympathize with the downfall in the second verse be he stated that, “For this very thing did I sigh, bound as I was not by another’s irons but by my own iron will. The enemy had control of my will, and out of it he fashioned a chain and fettered me with it. For in the truth lust is made out of perverse will, and when lust is served, it becomes habit, and when habit is not resisted, it becomes necessity (pg. 188).”

In the end, I can conclude that sin becomes an addiction, somewhat like a drug, and every once in awhile we fall into its comfortable presence of its welcoming arms. Just like the saying, “Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic” serves as an analogy of once a sinner always a sinner. The only way to break this habitual instinct is to serve the Lord one day at a time…baby steps.